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Top 5 Online Dating Profile Tips For Men Over 50

Top 5 Online Dating Profile Tips For Men Over 50There’s a new philosophy in the business world when it comes to presenting yourself to both business prospects or prospective employers. It’s called Show, don’t tell, and I use it a lot with my business clients who are looking to step up their business or expand their career. It’s been so successful — and so exciting to watch — that I’ve decided it would also be perfectly applied as online dating profile tips for men over 50.

In both the business world and the online dating world, people are no longer interested in hearing you talk about how good you are at something. Talk is cheap, and no one believes what you say about yourself anyway. They want proof. The good news is that now there’s a surefire way to demonstrate who you are — convincingly!

What you say about yourself isn’t worth anything. Instead, you have to find a way to show who you are. This is the show, don’t tell philosophy. In the business world, for example, rather than saying “My company is professional,” you demonstrate that you are professional with a top-notch, well designed, well written website. What good does it do to say you are professional when your website looks like it was done by an amateur or the content is boring and full of spelling mistakes? With a great website, you don’t have to say anything more. You’re showing it.

The same philosophy works for online dating. Based on show, don’t tell, plus feedback from women who are looking for a compatible partner through online dating, I’m offering these online dating profile tips for men over 50.

Life is easy. Many over-50 women are searching for a partner who has a few key things under control: Money. Past. Desire to be in a relationship and willingness to make an effort to show her. Over-50 women don’t want talk. They want men who can show who they are and what they are made of. So if you’re a man over 50 and considering online dating, here’s some advice: show yourself—and reap the rewards!

1) Don’t lie about your age.

Even if your loyal friends tell you that you look ten years younger than you are, you probably don’t. Lucky for you to have supportive friends, but most other people won’t be fooled. Hiding a decade, or even a half, is not as easy as your friends say.

What have you got to lose by lying? Everything. Once the truth comes out, no woman will trust anything else you say. In her eyes, you will forever be a liar. For most women, once a man lies about a little thing, he will lie about anything.

Instead of lying, or just saying that you’re “young for your age”, show that you are young at heart. After all, your age is just a number. Show your sense of humour, your wit, your intelligence. Demonstrate that you are active, interesting, and interested in living life to the fullest. Photos count a lot more than lies.

2) Post good profile pictures, and watch those selfies!

Does that photo of you taken on your cell phone held at arm’s length really show you at your best? Not many people take good selfies. If you don’t believe me, just scroll through the photos on most online dating sites.

Let’s go beyond the selfies taken in front of the bathroom mirror and assume you have a little more taste. Still, is that a dead fish you’re holding? Not all that attractive to anyone other than your fishing buddies. It may be the most beautiful fish ever caught, but save it until you’re sure that your potential soul mate loves fishing as much as you do.

I know you had a grand time at that all-inclusive on the beach, but five photos of your toes sticking out of the sand? One might be funny —the jury is still out on that one— but five is overkill.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you hire a professional photographer (though that might be nice). What I am suggesting is that you post attractive, up-to-date photos of yourself, taken by someone else with a good camera while you were enjoying the things you love to do. Go ahead and post that photo of yourself fishing, smiling, and surrounded by nature, but hold back on the dead fish until later.

This next bit of online dating advice should go without saying, but when you post a 20-year-old photo of yourself it shows that you’re living in the past. Women don’t like to date ghosts, unless of course they’re a ghost themselves, in which case they will probably also be posting 20-year-old photos. Do you really want to date a ghost?

That off-center photo of yourself with your head tilted and a woman’s hair still visible on your shoulder is also a dead giveaway. Cropping your previous love out of a photo shows a couple of things that just may not work for you: You may be resisting a new relationship. You are not travelling light. You are a serial cropper. No woman wants to be the replacement for another woman cropped out of your life — the future looks a little too ominous. Start fresh. Show the new you. If you’re not ready for a new relationship, tend to your wounds and wait until you are.

What do good photos show about you? That you are smart, that you know your limits, and that you respect yourself. Take a look at the photos you have posted on your online profile. Would you date that person? If you wouldn’t, chances are no woman would either.

3) Never say this.

You have to be clear with yourself about what the right time is to step out of your comfort zone and go online in search for a suitable partner. You also have to be clear as to why. When you have made the commitment to yourself about what you desire, then you are ready to show others what you want on your profile.

Most men over 50 think they know what women want, and they bend themselves into a pretzel trying to give it to women. Keep it simple. Stay inside your own head. In reality, all women want is someone genuine. Don’t hide behind a filter, offering an image of what you think women want. Give us the real you. Your chances of finding a good match will be higher if you know what you want and who you are.

Have you ever said things like the phrases below? They make women cringe. If you think they’re hysterical, or I’m making them up, think again — and make sure you never express these sentiments in your online profile:

a. “I was married to my soul mate for 30 years and I’m looking for second best.”

b. “My friends made me join the online dating site.”

c. “I’m a very interesting person. Let me know what you want to know about me.”

When describing yourself in your online profile, show your sense of humour, your humility, and have fun. Online dating is not for everyone. The best way to be successful is to own your own experience and be honest about it. Are you looking for a life partner, or just a casual encounter? There is nothing wrong with either, just as long as you are clear and go in with the right intentions.

Make the effort to say basic things about yourself and also share important details. Show you can relate to others. How are you going to find your match if you don’t list details that are important to share, and will endear you to others?

If you aren’t technologically minded, here is a good opportunity to challenge yourself. Update your computer skills and share the experience. This way, you will show that you are open-minded, up for new things, and fearless!

4) Be low maintenance.

My client Marta’s last relationship ended because her boyfriend thought she would rather spend time with her dog than with him. He was right. Even though dogs are demanding — you have to walk them, feed them, take care of them — they are actually low maintenance. You give and you receive. The relationship is easy, claims Marta.

Women of a certain age in today’s world love low-maintenance men. So, if you are a man over 50 looking for a partner, be sure to talk about how you take care of yourself; how you are the leader of your life. What are your favourite activities? Where do you like to spend time? Take the lead. Show initiative.

Forget the cliché that all over-50 women want candlelight dinners and a walk on the beach. Marta, for example, hates candles and she walks her dog on the beach. She is clear with possible dates that she would much prefer to walk into a trendy restaurant or funky art gallery. The place doesn’t have to be expensive, though she would like it to be original; even cutting-edge. Otherwise, she would prefer an evening at home with that dog. Men, this is what you are up against. Over-50 women have the perfect life and the perfect companion in their dog. Yet for many, something is missing. How are you going to show them what they have been missing out on?

5) Free yourself from you.

Know when you are being your own worst enemy. If you avoid getting to know the real you, if you insist on twisting the real you into a pretzel, if you think you know what your potential date wants, then take a break from online dating.

Only when you are willing to show who you are, when you are ready to listen, and especially when you are curious about the other person, are you ready to take that leap of faith.

Above all, have fun (and repeat after me: no more cropping).

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